“Why did I just do that?”
“I Built a wall around my heart, never let it fall apart. Strangely, I wish it will fall while I’m asleep.”
Let’s talk about walls for a second. Why do we put them up? Why do they exist? And why is it so hard to tear them down? Walls are a natural way to defend and protect. It’s what happens when there is a perceived danger. It’s hardly ever a pre-emptive move, but more as a result of an event that has already occurred. It’s very much the same in relationships.
There will be a time when we get hurt or offended by another person. That experience, whether we like it or not, stays with us. When we typically build a wall. Now, you may leave the relationship with that individual, but that wall remains long into the next relationship. Here’s the thing, you may not be aware of it. This wall typically doesn’t make itself known until your significant other does something that strikes you and your emotions. The reaction to their behavior may be almost involuntary and you find yourself thinking, “why did I just do that?” Because it’s happened before and that your reaction was a result of your wall. Your behaviors are not new. They had to come from somewhere!
Certain actions associate with the walls. It’s your job to think about what’s going on really. What were your thoughts that led to that behavior? What were your feelings that lead up to your mind? Identifying WHAT we feel is stepping stone in finding out WHY we feel that way, but most importantly HOW we behave.
While none of us want to have these walls up, it’s even harder to tear them down. Just like the Maroon 5 song lyric above, “I wish secretly it will fall while I’m asleep,” we want that these walls could just disappear on their own without us having to deal with the struggle that comes along with that. The truth of the matter is, real relationships have struggled and taking down a wall is a joint effort. It’s a terrifying thought, but leaving yourself open and exposed to the person you’re in love with may be your only chance in achieving the ultimate goal of really being together. Think of it as a project for you and your partner. Little by little, give each other the chance to show that both of you are the ones to knock those bricks down one by one
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advice4life.us copyright 2015 All Rights Reserved Al Laws Jr.