It’s hard to ignore the things people say and do to us. Especially if they were hurtful – intentionally or unintentionally. Those types of things stay with us forever and vice versa.
However, when we are in the process of healing and building relationships, we need to find ourselves in a place where we have the ability to look past people’s actions and behaviors and focus on what their intent truly was. This is where the Awareness Wheel comes in handy. It’s no coincidence that this model is in a circular shape – see, as human beings, we tend to operate in cycles. We have to learn how to identify the cycles we see ourselves in and be aware of how we respond. One of these natural cycles is the fight or flight response when we find ourselves in an argument. Again, we circle back to the hurtful words and actions that someone might have done to us. It’s very real to feel vulnerable and inadequate ; if you’re anything like me, those are the worst things to feel. We lack the skills and the ability to process these feelings as they are and don’t exactly know how to or want to express that this is how we are feeling. Most of us can’t admit we are hurt so we become angry.
Understand that we have the ability to separate our thoughts from our feelings. Place “peace” at the top of your priority list. Look past what was said and what was done and be aware of what the other’s true intention was. Look past what the person is offering you at face value and hone in on the real message they are trying to convey. Do not respond to the ACTION, but respond to the INTENTION.
Check out “Awareness Wheel Pt. 4” here.