Would you marry you? Are you a you that you want to be? These are questions that we must constantly ask ourselves to keep us in check when we are in relationships with one another.

But why do we need to keep ourselves in check? Because we are in “the keeping”. When you’re in “the hunting”, you can make yourself out to be whoever you want to be, but when you’re working on keeping someone… are you really putting in that work?

When you decide to be in a relationship or a marriage, God has entrusted you with one of his most precious creatures – another human being. There’s a certain way we have to respond to this responsibility and it’s to accept this trust and respond with gratefulness. Why wouldn’t we be thankful for a lifelong companion?

But we have certain responsibilities when it comes to this acceptance. For starters, we have to show up in the relationship. We have to be present, be aware, be conscious of what’s going on, where and when. When we’re working on “keeping” another person, our biggest task is putting in effort. When you’re in the gym, do you not give it your all? Are you not pushing yourself to the limit, expanding your lungs, stretching your muscle to become a stronger person? It’s not different when you are in love with someone. You must constantly be in practice of pushing yourself and encouraging yourself to be better.

How do you make yourself better? Trace the behaviors of your relationship. What are you triggers? What are your feelings? What are you intentions? What are your expectations? Remember to keep all of these realistic and fair. Realistic for yourself and your partner. Fair to yourself and fair to your partner. Another important point to remember is the importance of dialogue. Is something bothering you? Say it. The Bible says, “Through assumption comes nothing but strife,” without dialogue comes nothing but trouble. Be simple, be clear, be succinct, be kind. Be a you that you would want to be with.

Listen to the Advice4Life podcast: http://advice4life.podbean.com/e/the-awareness-wheel-why-do-i-have-to-understand-how-my-feelings/