One of the hardest things in life is to hear, is to hear about unlikable things about yourself. When you work so hard to produce an image that you think everyone should love and accept, it’s difficult to hear that well… that image isn’t really working.
It’s like being at a masquerade party, you have that mask on but you’re not really fooling anyone. Everyone knows it’s you under there. It’s no different in real life. When you have a mask on, be prepared for someone to find you out. That is, if they haven’t already.
It’s so important to be authentic.
It’s not unusual to act out in an extreme way if a mask if snatched away from us, torn from our faces and destroyed. We are shocked, upset, angry when all of a sudden we’re exposed in a way we weren’t prepared for. When our masks are on, we are protecting something, hiding something from the rest of the world. Maybe it’s something that we’re not proud of, maybe it’s something we fear. Either way, when it’s staring us right back in the face, it’s unpleasant. We lash out, we act out in anger – all of a sudden we’re not the people we wanted the world to see.
In reality, we find our masks uncomfortable. They can be restricting, they can be suffocating. All we really want is to feel free. This is what calls us into a real relationship, the trust that if this mask comes off, that somebody will still love us – good, bad, beautiful, ugly. They will love every part of us. But the first step in the process of being our true selves is to trust. As difficult as it is, to show up in a relationship is to show up healed and whole. You are saying to your partner, “I trust you completely, until you have shown me that I cannot.” Allow yourself to BE yourself with this person, believing wholeheartedly that they will accept and love you for who you are. If they don’t, it wasn’t meant to be. Because the one you are meant to be with will love you as God loves you, seeking no fault and seeing only good. As someone’s partner, it is also our responsibility to be a mirror, helping someone improve for the better. In this exchange, we learn to trust, to believe and to empower as well as be empowered.
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